RUSSIAN LADY OF OUR EPOCH:
So now that things have changed in Russia and Ukraine, did it change the personalities and set of values of Slavic women? Yes and no.
Slavic women still look for some nice, kind, faithful and serious man to settle down and have a family with, but it can’t be “just anyone” anymore (unless she just wants to use him to get a green card). It has to be someone special, local or western, someone, she’ll click with. Reasonable values, interests, intelligence and physical compatibility are a must! Just like they are in any country of the world.
But then remember, there are 3 different generations of Slavic women on the dating scene now and you are to chose a lady from one of them depending on what you want from your relationship. Here I will try to describe the “pros” and “cons” of dating each of these groups.
Ladies that are 40+ who was born and brought up in USSR are certainly different than the younger crowd on the dating scene. They were brought up with old style values of honesty and striving for an equal partnership in a relationship. They either didn’t find a good local man to marry for some reason or got divorced years back, and if they have kids those are already grown up, so they have more desire to find someone nice and stable and fewer ties to their own country. They are also much more OK with the idea of age difference with their future partner, as most of them passed the age when they’d have model looks themselves.
The “cons” of dating a USSR generation lady are the fact they often have a very set “pro-USSR” mindset. They aren’t easy to adapt to a new country and will most likely feel very homesick in the environment different from their homeland. In the times of USSR the study of languages wasn’t encouraged as the country was quite isolated from the rest of the world so very few women of that generation will speak any English but they’ll work hard on learning it willingly as often for them marrying a western man is close to the only option of finding a soul-mate. Most Russian older men are either divorced a few times with lots of emotional baggage and don’t want to marry, or never married without any desire to in the future, since “it’s already too late to start to build up all this baggage” in their opinion, or looking for a very young gorgeous lady (that’s only true for the rich ones, though). So if you want an honest and loyal partner someone in their 40ies will be a good choice as long as the fact their set inflexible ways are not a problem with you. However, very often western men don’t get really attracted to that age group as Russian women on the average seem to age faster than western ones, perhaps due to all the hard life experiences and the ordeal they went through…
*USSR COLLAPSE GENERATION
Here I will speak of women in their late 20ies till late 30ies, whose teens and youth passed during the times of USSR collapse and economy failure. Probably, the most attractive group from the standpoint of view of most western men. These ladies were brought up in the culture of taking good care of themselves and looking good for their man, because with all the economic ordeal in the country in the times of their youth getting married to a man who will take care of them and support them was perhaps the only way to survive. And they definitely had to look good for that! Now that they are slightly older they still do as they are so used to taking care of their face and figure thoroughly. When these ladies first appeared on the International dating scene in mid-90ies many did marry and left the country is desperate for a better standard of living. However, since due to Russian people’s desperation western men set overly high standards for ladies and no standards for themselves at the time (it was very common for someone too old or too arrogant or too obese to choose beautiful girls under 23 for marriage), many ladies of this age generation that didn’t want to put up with that still stayed on the International dating scene till these days. Unfortunately, this is the highest risk group too, because many of these ladies became scammers or professional daters finding that to be an easy way to make money without getting into real relationships. They were led to that by the poverty and lack of opportunities in the country and sadly kept it as their trade even after post-USSR countries started to slightly improve economically because they know no other. A lot of the time the lady has a boyfriend or even husband who often knows what she does and may even help her out with it!
I personally knew a girl in late 90ies who took her boyfriend with her to all her dates with Western men claiming she comes from a very strict family who require her brother to accompany her to all her dates to avoid rape or insincere intentions from foreign guys. The so-called “brother” was also doing the driving and search of rental accommodation for his girlfriend’s dates making money that way! I discovered the story when I started to wonder why the girl and her brother were so close in age yet so different in their looks. Their dishonesty was shocking and I cut all ties with the girl and never translated nor kept in touch with her ever since but I wouldn’t be surprised if they are still doing that now.
An American client and friend I translated for also told me of a story of a Ukrainian girl he dated some years ago who went out with him for a while, accepted his engagement proposal and lots of expensive gifts and money to get stuff she needed, and then he ended up finding her on Facebook exchanging rings with a Russian man and wearing a wedding dress in many of her photos! He also contacted her nephew on Facebook posing as just his aunt’s friend and the nephew confirmed the fact his aunt was married for years now.
And don’t get me wrong, by far NOT every girl age 25 to late 30ies is a scammer. Many girls, especially ones who have a kid or two from a previous marriage will be serious. In fact, most honest girls age 30+ in Slavic countries will be more serious about a relationship than 20-year-olds as they start to feel “their clock is ticking”. But they will have their own expectations from the relationship. And if you think your lifestyle, manners, a capability of being courteous with a lady, etc. don’t matter…They DO!
So what does such a girl expect from her man?
Courtesy is a big thing for Russian girls. They love flowers and other small signs of attention. Remember, most of them come from the generation where a woman’s hope was to find a partner who will support and pamper her and take care of her needs.
Don’t expect most Russian girls who are super gorgeous (even if they seriously intend to get into a relationship) to be very intellectual nor very willing to become an equal partner for you. Man is the provider for her and it’s his job to think hard and work hard, and her duty is to be caring, sweet, beautiful and affectionate for him.
You may find the way most Russian women dress sexy, but if you tell them to just dress up in jeans and a T-shirt for a picnic to feel at ease in the casual atmosphere some of them may get upset.
I was once on a holiday in Egypt and met some British tourists in a beach bar. We were sitting there having our drinks as all the guys started staring in the same direction wondering, “Wow, what gorgeous girls, where could they be from? The USA? England? Poland?” As I looked in that direction I started smiling, “I can bet you anything they are Russians!” “How would you know?” asked my companions in surprise. “No other girls would wear full makeup and high heels on the beach! They are 100% Russians!” And they were…
And it’s not the fact they want to show off or be snobbish, it’s just their lifestyle.
Of course, there will be girls who are not super gorgeous but still pretty, who have their own job, interests and hobbies that can be much less into their outside look and more into spiritual and intellectual things. But even those won’t always become a perfect house-keeper/cook as the myth of Russian women often claims. They are an individual but not a combination of washer, stove and vacuum cleaner as some dating agencies would still claim even nowadays.
Do Russian women like to cook, clean and do other work about the house? The answer is simple, some do and some don’t. And as the years go by and our society, unfortunately, gets more Americanized with its McDonalds, fast food, higher speed of life and other things, the tradition of cooking and eating every dinner as a family meal at home is slowly disappearing. Many women still keep it, but especially the career-oriented ones don’t any longer. They will prefer to dine out or order a pizza or sushi to go from a local cafe. Yet, they will cook for their man each special occasion to make him feel appreciated, and they do know how to cook!
However, the younger someone is the more and more westernized they get. And that’s the group I’ll talk about now…
*THE POST-USSR GENERATION
These are the very young ladies under 25 who grew old enough to remember themselves after the major crisis in former USSR countries was over. There are fewer among them that are scammers, but also fewer ones who look for a relationship with an older man from a different country.
Fewer of them will have the model look too as being slender and always well-dressed and fully made-up is not a religion for them. When I studied at school we only had 2-3 bigger kids in my grade (not obese, though), and those were always bullied and called “fatties”. When I look at modern school kids going for a walk with their teacher I see about 30% of them are slight to badly overweighted and this is considered normal!
And if a young lady of this generation is exceptionally gorgeous she will be either exceptionally difficult personality-wise or just a dater. And this isn’t to scam someone or make money on dates, often the very beautiful young girls get so many dating proposals from men all they do is dating them long enough to choose the richest or the most handsome candidate.
Most of the girls from this group have a big bonus of speaking English since in the past 10 years the schools started to pay more attention to international language study than any other subjects. As a result, even though modern kids might not know who Lenin was or when and why World War-2 took place, most of them will speak intermediate to fluent English.
An average girl under 25 will be somewhat westernized and either look for someone local or foreigner, but handsome and her own age; or an older rich man to take good care of her. If you are a good-looking westerner you can have a good chance with her even if your income is average. Since young girls here are more like western girls – looking for someone who’s not only going to take care of her but will also be adequately compatible with her age and personality-wise. International relationships are a normal thing for girls of this age, because of their knowledge of languages and having more access to travel and seeing other cultures. Yet they look at the odds of such relationships exactly the same as at those of their relationships with locals.
A girl of that age will often feel comfortable wearing both a nice dress and a pair of jeans and a hoodie, but she probably won’t have the sophistication of manners of someone of older generation nor their maturity to make most of their relationships last too long. Going out, partying in dance clubs, socializing with numerous friends is the lifestyle for them. They aren’t dishonest, they just enjoy a faster and slightly more superficial and fun lifestyle. The average age of marrying in Ukraine has recently been going up just like in the rest of Europe. Yet, who knows, maybe you’ll end up to be The One for her!
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