Your eyes meet across a crowded room and an immediate understanding occurs between the two of you. You move toward her and the crowd appears to supernaturally part to allow an unimpeded path straight toward her. Sounds like a movie scene doesn’t it, a chapter from a fiction novel, and you’d be right.
The reality is there is many things to consider on a first date, compatibility, and simply just getting to know the other person. Compatibility is a huge topic in itself and should form the basic premise for every date, not just the first. Cultural compatibility is a huge question when dating a beautiful lady from the east. But are you also compatible emotionally, psychologically, physically… sexually?
Let’s Do The Research
A large, popular dating site recently conducted a survey of its clients. The survey asked only one question: Do you think sex on the first date is acceptable? Approximately 1,700 anonymous people took the survey and self-reported their answers — 831 Western European women and 877 Western men.
Answers to the question were recorded anonymously, though only logged-in, registered members were able to participate in the survey. Only one option could be selected of the 3 possible answer choices in the survey: Yes, No, or Yes, if the people had known each other for some time. The varying responses provide an interesting look into both gender and culture breakdowns and stereotypes.
And The Answer Is . . .
Not so fast because it isn’t that black and white. The majority of the group promotes the standard, modern, Judeo-Christian viewpoint that sex on the first date is improper. However, nearly one out of every three respondents hold the opinion that it would actually be ok!
More women than men reported their willingness toward first-date fornication. In total, 38% of females answered that it would be acceptable, compared to 31% of male respondents.
So far, it sounds good doesn’t it, the percentages are definitely in favor of the men!
831 women responded to the survey, as previously stated.
A full TEN percent of women selected an unambiguous YES. Almost 29% additionally responded with YES, if the people had known each other for some time.
As most people might have expected, 61% of female respondents did not view sex as appropriate on a first date.
877 men also responded to the survey and were surprisingly restrained compared to the female respondees.
Less than seven percent said a straight out Yes, and less than a quarter said Yes, if the people had known each other for some time.
Nearly 70 % of men said NO!
Surprised? You should be!
Are men becoming prudish? Are we, as a gender, afraid of what the feminist movement has created in western culture. It’s impossible to define and certainly not on the basis of this relatively small sample survey. The most surprising thing is that most people would have assumed a far greater majority of men would have voted in the positive, when in fact, it was the female vote that indicated that preference.
For starters, female respondents were from a European background, albeit western. As most Eastern European men know, many women here have rules about not “putting out” before the third date, regardless of the intensity of feelings the couple may have for each other prior to, or after that point, as if it’s some magical dividing line between chastity and sluttiness. Whether this played a part in this survey or not is definitely not indicative from the results.
There is also the case that respondents only answered to the present cultural “norm” rather than to their own individual opinions, which either way, can’t be proven one way or another. However, if this was the case, then again it demonstrates that women ARE more open to considering sex on the first date than men are giving them credit for!
What cannot be doubted is that tradition of gender roles does play a part in this survey, hence the majority of respondents of both sexes indicating a No, answer. There is no surprise there.
Let’s be clear about this – nearly 40 % of women deemed it acceptable to have sex on the first date, especially if people had the chance to get to know each other before romantically linking up.
If you are not one of the 70% of men that said NO, why not take advantage of that fact and try your luck?